Balancing life

I'm going to call this balancing life because I think I'm having a hard time with that right now with the changes that have been going on lately, great changes, but non the less they're changes. I've taken a break from triathlon this season, part by choice part not by choice. I've slugged back into old patterns, LOVE sleeping in, LOVE going home right after work. I have been active, spinning at work which I love, and running on weekends and when ever I feel enough energy to do so during the week. Which isn't really like me, from previous years. I need to and want to get my athlete schedule back, push through and "Just Do It". Then comes the migraines, and work and life you gotta fit in there. 
You need to do more then DREAM it and WANT it!!!  Just saying that I WANT to finish a Ironman for me, and the I DREAM about finishing a Ironman isn't enough...I need that mental toughness again, I NEED to get out there and DO IT, BELIEVE it and EAT it. I need to stop thinking that it will come, because everyone has bad runs and everyone gets tired and doesn't WANT to do something at some point during training they just get out and do it anyway. Even being a Back Of A Packer is fine, sure it might by harder to get it done, get faster or whatever the case may be but I try to think that it would make that finish line so much sweeter. I've lost some training buddies and I can't just lose my dream and my taste for the finish line, I've got to try to make new friends and sometimes get it done another way. Nobody but the body that I have is going to drag me over that finish line! Sure I cry when my friends cross the finish line and I am SO incredibly happy for them, but at the end of the day there body, mind and sole did the work and got it done and crossed that finish line. I think that is amazing and I wish I could be so fast and do so well, I just gotta do MY best.
I've done 3 half Ironman's and haven't finished anyone of them on time, that SUCKS because I worked HARD for each one of them, what's next? Trying again, that's what's next damn it!!! 
So was taking the break a good thing or a bad thing? Either way, I gotta start again and feel accomplished again. Have fun again, make some more friends and get it done!  I may have been tired as hell after the workout but at least I was tired for a reason. So as I tell myself to get going, get out of the depression and yucky feeling and get back out there. Try and TRI again. Balance life and do my best, remember the feeling of the finish line.I've got great friends, I'll get there. Florida will only be in my future if I get it together and do my work :-) This is partially what Team Z is for thank you!!! The help from family and friend also. Thank you, signed Getting it together again.
P.S. please look beyond typo's.